Saturday, 11 June 2011
My Out of Control Hormones are making me...
I feel so sad and upset...
He is such a jerk...
Years ago when I was looking for things and ways to get me through my depression, I decided to go off the Pill and have a Mirena coil (or IUD) so I could take St. John's Wort and still be safe.
I have been on the Pill since I was thirteen, as my periods gave me so many problems (migraines interfering with my sight and very severe abdominal cramps, to the point I couldn't move for days let alone attend school) that my mum suggested to go and see our GP and see if going on the Pill would help with this.
He agreed and so we started with one that was apparently too heavy for me.
It gave me headaches every day to the point where a day without the headache would make me wonder why I was feeling so weird...
I went back after quite a few months to ask if this was normal, being on it for the first time, and how long it would take to go away?
He got somewhat disgruntled, looked in his books and gave me another one to get on with.
They didn't go away...
I went back again, because surely this wasn't supposed to just keep on going, these headaches?
He looked at me like I was some stupid little girl who had the audacity to question his authority and told me that if I was still having problems, there must be something wrong with me, so do I or don't I want to keep on taking them, because he had other patients waiting!
I left, upset about how he had treated me.
Just because I was a thirteen year old confused girl, didn't give him the right to just dismiss me like that.
He was my doctor! He was supposed to help me, not belittle me, making me feel I was the abnormal one because of complications I was experiencing from a pill he gave me!
I called my Mum from a pay-phone just down the street form the doctor's and told her what had happened, all upset.
She suggested I call the free Family Planning Clinic and ask them what they thought about my Pill and not to worry about that obviously stupid old man, who should have retired a long time ago if he can't be civil to little girls like me anymore!
He did a few months after...
Since I was still in the city (we still had the GP from when I lived with my Nan and Granddad, but had moved back to our flat in town a few months ago and my Mum thought it would be better to keep going to the same school to finish the year and keep the GP for that time, as he was close to school, as well), I decided to call the clinic, as maybe they wanted me to see them about it.
They told me I was right and that he was out of order and to come around straight away to sort it all out!
They gave me the Three Phase Pill to try out, which was a big improvement and I have taken the same one ever since.
Until I decided to go for the coil...
The Devil's Instrument, invented by a loyal (male, don't you think?) follower of Satan, to add to the already destined monthly reoccuring suffering of all women on this overpopulated planet!
My period would usually last 5 to 7 seven days, including spotting, diminishing in flow to almost nothing over the years.
On the coil they lasted a minimum of 2 weeks (heavy spotting is a side effect) to 6 weeks with my bleeding going on like a yo-yo: cycle starting, bleeding increasing, showing signs of lessening, almost clean, to starting the whole cycle all over again several times!
My "clean" times, if I had any, would last from just 2 days to at the most 2 weeks before I had several weeks of flowing again!
Many side effects crept in, some of which I wasn't aware of until much later, some I wasn't sure if they had to do with the coil or my age anyway.
After trying to let it go through a settling stage for 6 months or so, I went back, but got told sometimes it can take up to a year to finally regulate.
I was too busy having a depression and trying to do my degree to have time to bother about what was going on with my body so just tried to ignore all of it for as long as possible.
But my flow was increasing, the time it lasted was getting longer and longer and the clean times almost nonexistent!
And I don't even want to start about the disastrous effects it had on our sexual relationship!
In the mean time my GP realised that my family's medical history was putting me in a very high risk group for heart/stroke and coronary artery disease and told me I was left with very limited birth control choices if I wanted to lose the coil, so I decided to keep it in, but was given a few strips of my old Pill back to try and regulate things a bit.
That only worked for the first cycle, and then it started to get worse quickly all over again!
As a last resort we decided on taking the Mini Pill (the only Pill I am now allowed to take) along with it, to see if things would improve and take it from there.
Things just got worse with even more and intensified side effects including my old cramps back, as the two only seemed to aggravate each other.
I finally decided to have it removed on Feb 17th this year, still on the Pill so I would still be on a reliable form of birth control, and see how things would change with just the Pill.
Which they didn't.
Is there a term of sorts for having Premenstrual Tension/Syndrome ALL. THE. TIME?
I had already made the decision to stop the Pill and get sterilised if things didn't get better and my GP agreed it was possibly the best thing for me to do.
So she had already referred me to get a head start on the waiting list.
My last Pill was taken on the 25th of May to try and stop my cycle, which by then had been going on for about 10 weeks, non-stop.
It took another 2 weeks before it sort of did...
I only had one clean day before I started bleeding again and my Always-On PMS (HA!) is peaking, my cramps are in full force and my flow is as heavy as I hoped it could never be...
And 'he' saw fit to moan about the dishes not being done again last night............................................................................................................... ............................................................................ ................................................................ ....................................... .................... ............ ......... ....
Enter The She-Devil...